/2self: what's the point?

...really? what's the point of being... "human"? ...of loving, hating, having feeling you can't control??

it really doesn't help you at all. you may say that trusting the people around you makes "total control" (as an asymptotic goal, of course) unnecessary, a waste of resources actually. but... there is a "but": trusting??! are you out of your mind??! can't you see what they've done with their lives??! you want your's to end up the same way... just another "bucket" of WASTED BRAINPOWER (the only resource that matters after all).

you basically have two choices: either it doesn't matter, you keep functioning as a cog in this giant machinery without trying to see the big picture... OR ...you "rebuild" yourself (by this point you probably have realized that "you've been built" totally wrong... education, together with morality, religion and all the other crap... these things were all very good for what they were intended ...but they're of no use to you if you really wanna go that far... you need to find something else... and you've already found it, otherwise you would not have the "drive" to write these lines right now) and prepare for the journey...

but there's a catch: if you chose no. 2... you MUST take some of the others with you. why? because this is not a journey... nor a battle... it is WAR. and you can't wage war by yourself. still don't get it why? you will just bit later... be patient right now

anyway... too much said about "how"... and you already know it. this is not about "how"... it's about "what" ... and "what" implies "why". but wait... you already know "why" is meaningless... so "what" is also meaningless. [ and this was supposed to be (pseuodo)understandable by whoever reads this... sigh... ]

so here come the big fat question: if freedom is out of discussion (to be free you must be able to CHOOSE "what" and "why", and if both are meaningless... you get the point... ), how can you be more than a cog in the big machine? well... you can't! if you want to make the journey, you must pull "the machine" with you... because you're automatically part of it (YOU are IT).

wow... I can't believe where this is going. I just said "SOME of the others with you"... this actually means splitting the machine you're part of. SHIIIT... this is actually what's happening... actually will happen... "the social machine" is splitting, "dividing"... and what will happen next is bloody obvious: bad old natural selection. the fittest groups will survive... just what we try to escape... actually we don't. it's just the same ol' shit... it's been happening since... always... and it will still be happening a thousand years from now.

so to sum things up: teleological thinking is meaningless (the most irrational and oxymoronic think I've thought lately...) and there's no escape to being just a cog in the grand machinery (only that at a proxy level it also matters what machinery). see? it's simple. this is actually the only paragraph that makes sense... there's actually no point in reading the others, so if you did, it was a total waste of your time.

just to end this meaningless thing with a smile: there's no point! just a lot of lines. (actually just another meaningless metaphor that's already been said to a real person)